


SLAMMING the setter lmao sports

by swiftonthedownside



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, chapter fic wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:26:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1656539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swiftonthedownside/pseuds/swiftonthedownside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*beatboxing* chapter fic</p><p> </p><p>they're going somewhere to do some kind of practice match who cares</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. *guitar intro*

**Author's Note:**

> waiting for senpai to notice me like waiting for my heterosexuality to return from war............

Hinata had never been a romantic. Hinata wasn't really a romantic now. But he still had to think that liking someone was, to some degree, a romantic endeavor. In the past he had had friends; he'd had regular old dudes to pass the days with as he slowly progressed from a child to a pubescent lump of trash. Lumps of trash are hardly romantic - they only attract filth and the occasional cool bug. But not things like girls or even guys or even anything else. Just more trash to add to the pile.

Hinata wasn't so sure he liked being a romantic. It was very hard and he felt constantly compelled to write overly dramatic poetry to truly live up to the name "romantic."

~~~

Kageyama had always found beauty in brevity and wit in the evanescent. That's why he didn't say much. He preferred things quick and sharp - his words, the words of everyone else, the movements of his teammates. He didn't like things be long, drawn-out, or rambling.

He didn't know why he liked Hinata. Long, drawn-out, rambling Hinata. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know why. If he knew why, he'd spend a long time thinking about it, and he didn't want to do that. He didn't like thinking about the same thing for long periods of time. If he couldn't figure it out in three minutes, it wasn't worth knowing.

Well, except, maybe, Hinata.

~~~

"Back!"

Hinata jumped, slamming the ball across the court. Tsukishima made a noise, watching the ball bounce behind him. Hinata grinned.

"Yes!"

"Nice job, Hinata!"

"Nice spike!"

Daichi slapped Hinata on the back and he grinned. Awesome. With this practice match coming up, he was working really hard. All he wanted was to watch the other team wallow in defeat. All he wanted was to win.

Yamaguchi served, and the other side of the net was a flurry of movement. Hinata shifted, and he and Tanaka jumped to block Tsukishima's spike.

Tsukishima, however, was far better than anyone ever bothered to give him credit for, and he aimed precisely where it was necessary to send the ball slamming into the other side of the court. Hinata and Tanaka groaned as the other side rejoiced.

Kageyama let out a breath, wiping his face. Daichi glanced at the clock.

"One more serve and then we clean up!" he called, tossing the ball to Suga. Everyone called their assent, and Suga served.

"Got it!" Nishinoya sent the ball towards Kageyama.

"Left!"

"Bring it on!"

Kageyama tossed, and Asahi sent it straight into the ground on the other side of the net.

"Yes!"

"Azumane-senpai!"

Asahi smiled and Hinata watched him. "Awesome..."

Kageyama looked at Hinata. He looked at Asahi. Nishinoya ran up and leapt on Asahi, yelling about something similar to "That was great!" Daichi was calling for everyone to clean up. Kageyama snatched up a ball, going to put it away.

They all eventually ended up in the locker room, Tanaka complaining loudly about how hard practice was and Nishinoya running around showing everyone how AWESOME his extra long armpit hair was. Kageyama frowned, gathering his stuff together so he could leave the smelly, noisy room. He headed quickly out of the gym.

"Kageyama!" Hinata ran after him, grinning at him. "Come hang out with me today."

Kageyama just made a noncommittal huffing noise, looking away from him. Hinata grinned, walking beside him.

"What did you get on that quiz?"

"Mmffrmg."

"Haaaaah? At least pretend to talk to me."

"43..."

"Whoooooa! That's not so bad!"

Kageyama made a face. "I could've done better."

Hinata looked at him. "Well, you did good. That's what matters."

"I know that, you idiot."

Hinata looked at him and forced a smile onto his face. "Good. Hurry up, I'm super hungry."

"Yeah, got it." Kageyama picked up the pace.

~~~

Hinata didn't really think of himself as 'liking' Kageyama. Not in a gushy gross way. He didn't want to sit in a garden of roses and caress his hair while whispering poetry to him. He also did not want poetry whispered to himself. But he felt something vaguely romantic inside of him. And he thought it had something to do with pure, raw sex.

Not that he was, like, really super prepared, ready, or willing to bang Kageyama. But it felt mostly carnal. He wanted to touch him and set his skin on fire with his tongue. He wanted to rip him apart. Maybe those weren't the best words to use. They sounded sort of violent.

He stared at the wall, thinking about which words he would use, chewing on his pencil. He kicked his feet. Ripping Kageyama apart was starting to sound better and better. Ripping his eyes out and his limbs off-

"Hinata."

He looked over. "Hmmm?"

Kageyama flicked his forehead. Hinata frowned.

"Yachi-san is attempting to help you study, would you pay attention?"

"I'm trying."

"Yeah, trying _real_ hard..."

"I spaced off for two seconds I can't help it!"

"If you'd pull your _head_ out of your _ass_ -"

"Are you looking for a fight?!"

"You'd hardly be a fight!"

They tore into each other, making vastly over-stated violent noises. Yachi watched, frozen in fear and in disbelief that they could really have six physical fights in one study session.

A classmate shook his head beside her. "Don't bother. In ten minutes they'll wear out and be back to studying."

"Right." She nodded. "Another ten minutes."

~~~

Hinata and Kageyama were sitting around eating lunch. Hinata hummed, looking at him. "Lemme see your math notes."

Kageyama slid them over, not ceasing in his consumption of whatever was in the two gallon bucket he'd brought for lunch. Hinata looked at them while he ate.

"What does that mean?"

"You put the formula inside the parentheses."

"Oh."

He shifted, biting into a meat bun and just leaving it there. He looked at Kageyama.

"Hey. Kageyama."

Kageyama didn't look up.

"Hey. Look. Look, Kageyama."

Kageyama glanced up, and Hinata grinned, shoving the whole meat bun in his mouth.

"Meh?"

"What are you doing?"

"Maaphasif."

"You're a fucking moron."

Hinata tried to respond, but started choking. Kageyama slapped his back a few times, looking off the other direction and sipping his drink.

"Sorry," Hinata gasped out, rubbing his throat.

"Mmhmm."

~~~

"Do you like tuna?"

"No."

"Pfft. Are you stupid?"

"Not as stupid as you."

Hinata made a face, pushing some buttons. He re-positioned the phone against his ear. God, it's hard to balance a phone with your shoulder when you're hanging upside down and trying to play a video game.

"Gah, you hit me!"

"You got in my way."

"We're supposed to be a team," Hinata whined, trying to get back to the battle from the spawn point a bajillion miles away.

"Sorry. Stay out of my way."

"You're so mean about video games. I wouldn't say you're 'nice' about anything else, but you're a dick about video games."

"I'm nice about volleyball."

Hinata let out a loud laugh. The phone fell and bounced off the floor. He reached for it, sticking it back by his ear. "You are not 'nice' about volleyball. You're intense about volleyball."

"What do you mean? I'm always praising you and reassuring you."

"'I'll get the ball to your hands' is a promise, not praise _or_ reassurance."

"It can be said reassuringly."

Hinata didn't respond because his phone buzzed against his ear. He yelped, letting it drop again. He flipped to lay on his stomach, snatching it up.

"Oh! Kenma texted me!" He smiled, swinging his feet in the air. "Make sure no one kills me while I respond, 'kay?"

"Hey, I-"

"Thaaaaaaaaaanks, Kageyama." He flipped onto his back again, texting quickly. Kageyama could hear Hinata tapping the buttons loudly in his ear. Each click was a stab.

"What does he want, anyway?" he asked quietly, trying to fend enemies away from Hinata's frozen character.

"He keeps asking when we're going to face them again."

"Oh."

"I love playing Nekoma. Aren't they a great team? Argh, I'm getting so pumped up just thinking about it! Kageyama!"

"What?! Stop yelling!"

"We're gonna win next time!"

Kageyama didn't respond. He rolled his eyes. His phone slipped a little from its resting place.

"Kageyama!"

"Of course we are, you moron." He wiggled his head to force his phone back in place. "Just keep practicing."

"Duh!" Hinata made a cool "tch"-ing sound. "You sure are dumb, Kageyama."

"Just get back to the game!"

"Wait! Kenma texted back! Cover me some more, okay?"

"Hurry up!"


	2. *enter the bassline*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've written 13 hikayuu fanfictions in 9 days and i took this past friday and satuday off

Kageyama yawned. Hinata was dozing off beside him. Daichi was trying to keep everyone awake, but it really and truly just wasn't worth it. Kageyama leaned his head back against the wall and he closed his eyes and he thought about his warm bed...

"Come on!" Daichi smacked the side of his head, causing him to stumble. "Stay awake! The bus will be here soon. And don't fall asleep on the bus! You should've gone to bed earlier!"

"Why do we need to be there at six in the morning?" Tanaka complained from the cold concrete. Daichi kicked him.

"Because they're a busy school and they have lots of things to do. I'm sure they're facing lots of other schools today, so be glad we were able to make it at all!"

Hinata sighed and leaned against the wall. "I'm so hungry..."

Kageyama looked at him. "Didn't you eat breakfast?"

"Yeah..."

"Then why are you hungry?"

Hinata just whined. "When will the bus be here? I wanna sit down..."

"You're just finding reasons to complain."

"Well you're tired too. I know you are. You were up until like eleven thirty."

"So?"

"So you woke up at three."

"You don't know that."

"You texted me to complain."

Kageyama turned away. He could feel the very inner parts of his cheeks warming up a very little bit.

"It's your fault. You kept me up."

"The bus is here!"

Everyone let out half-assed cheers, picking themselves up. They piled on.

Kageyama sat next to Hinata. How was he not supposed to fall asleep. The bus rumbled quietly and it was warm and quiet and-

"Kageyama."

Bright light. Very bright light. Kageyama scrunched up his eyes, pushing against Hinata's face.

"Put that shit away," he grumbled.

"Mmph! No, watch me play."

"Fuck you, I'm going to sleep."

"The captain said not to sleep!"

"So don't tell him." Kageyama opened his eyes and looked at Hinata. Stop making that face. Please stop making that face. Take a breath, goddamn it. He started sweating a little.

"Fine."

Hinata let out all the air he had used to puff up his cheeks, grinning. "Awesome." He settled down in his seat, clicking the screen to start his game.

Kageyama stared at the screen for a long time, listening to Hinata talk about his game. He shifted near him over time, leaning against his shoulder.

"Don't use that move."

"Pch. You have nooo idea of what 'strategy' is."

"No, you don't realize that's a dragon type."

"Sh-!" He stopped, letting out a breath and then pouting. "Shit."

Kageyama smirked a little, putting his chin on top of Hinata's head. "Send that one out or you'll lose."

"I don't need your advice!" He pushed Kageyama away, turning to face the other direction. Kageyama's smirk widened. 

"Mmhmm."

~~~

Sugawara sighed, stretching. "It is sort of early to have a practice match," he said, looking at Daichi. He sighed.

"I know. They scheduled us this early on purpose, and I know it."

"They either don't think much of us at all, or want us to be tired so we lose."

"Yeah." Daichi smiled. "But we won't lose." He clapped his hands. "Alright, c'mon! Gather up!"

Everyone fell into a circle. Ukai and Takeda came over to listen to Daichi.

"These guys are a big opponent, but I know we can do anything, and when we all give one-hundred percent, we're a formidable enemy. So work hard and we won't lose!"

They all called their assent and Ukai pushed his way ino the circle. "Alright, the starting line-up..."

~~~

"Left!"

"Center!"

The ball smacked the hands of the blockers and slammed right back into the court. Tanaka's hands curled into fists as the ref's whistle blew and the other team smirked in victory.

"We'll take it back!"

"Next time, Tanaka!"

The other side served, and Daichi threw himself under the ball. "Nice receive!" The ball flew towards Kageyama, who listened for voices.

"Back!"

That one mattered. He tossed and heard the ball meet flesh. Then the ball hit the court and a body hit the court and he turned to see Hinata on his back.

The ref's whistle blew. The game was over.

Hinata sat up and looked at his hands. There were people yelling encouragement to him, jogging over, but Kageyama looked away.

He really couldn't stand for Hinata to have that look on his face.

"C'mon! Line up!"

"Kageyama." Suga touched his shoulder. "C'mon."

Kageyama followed the group to the edge of the court. They thanked their hosts and bowed before turning to accept water and towels.

Hinata watched Kageyama. Why wouldn't he look at him. That generally meant he was mad. He looked at the bench, taking a drink of water.

He tried hard not to fuck up or "disappoint" Kageyama. But he wasn't sure it was enough.

"Go change and we'll get on the bus and head back! Hurry up!"

~~~

They all slept on the bus ride home. Or they tried to. Between little bits of dozing they would shift and tell themselves they could have done better and they could have run faster. Hinata, particularly, was having a difficult time sleeping, sitting next to Kageyama and feeling like he was mad. They arrived at the school and got off the bus and started going their own ways. Hinata watched Kageyama stand around for a few minutes before heading in the direction of his house.

"Hey, Kageyama."

He turned around, looking at Hinata. Oh, good. He didn't look as much like a piss baby anymore. Now it was easier to look at him. "What?"

Well, Kageyama seemed in a friendlier mood. "My mom's coming to get me. Do you want to come over?"

Kageyama thought for a minute. "Yeah, fine." He walked over to stand beside him, yawning.

"She said she'd make lunch. Maaaaan, I'm hungry."

"Me too. What's she making?"

"She didn't tell me. She said she didn't want me to get distracted during the match."

"Good call. You would."

"Would not! You're looking for a black eye!"

"Can you reach my eye?"

Hinata started to yell something, but a car pulled up and he straightened up immediately. "That's her. C'mon."

~~~

Hinata dropped his bag in his room, leaning over at the waist and letting the top half of his body just dangle. "Hahhhh...I'm so tired."

Kageyama sat on the edge of Hinata's bed, leaning against the wall. He could hardly think. He was so tired. 

"I'm going to ask Mom what she's making." He left the room, and Kageyama looked at the open door.

God, Hinata's room smelled good today. It was extra warm, too, or something. The warm, sweet room made his eyes sting. He closed them, rubbing his face. So tired.

Hinata came back in, saying something about beef, and looked at Kageyama. "Kageyama?" He moved near him, then stopped. "Are you really asleep? Hey, wake up!"

Kageyama leapt, looking at Hinata. "What's your problem!"

Hinata was laughing. "You fell asleep like two seconds after sitting down!"

"At least I don't fall asleep in class!"

Hinata kept laughing, flopping beside Kageyama and laying back. "Man, you really are tired."

Kageyama laid beside him quietly, crossing his arms behind his head. "I woke up at three in the morning."

"I woke up at two forty-five, you don't see me dozing off all over the place."

"You fell asleep against the school this morning."

"I wasn't asleep!"

Kageyama sighed. "When will lunch be ready?" he murmured, closing his eyes.

"She asked me to give her an hour. Natsu's helping her."

Kageyama hummed. Hinata let out a tired sigh, staring at the ceiling. 

An hour later they were still asleep, Hinata's legs laying across Kageyama's chest.

~~~

"When are you going home?"

"I dunno. Tomorrow's Sunday, it doesn't exactly matter. Whenever your mom will take me."

Hinata yelled, shooting to his feet. "Gwoooooooooooooo..."

Kageyama shifted away from him. Hinata was a danger while playing video games.

"I dunno when she'll take you. Why don't you just stay the night?"

"I have homework that I left at home."

"So go home tomorrow and do it then." Hinata bounced for a bit, then flopped back onto the floor. Kageyama moved away again, shifting to sit up on Hinata's bed.

"I don't have any clothes to wear tomorrow."

"Wear those ones."

"They're dirty."

"Change when you get home."

"I don't have pajamas."

"Sleep naked!"

That cracked him up. He really thought it was so funny. Hinata could not stop laughing. Kageyama gave him a weird, disdainful look.

"No thanks. I'll walk home."

"You can't walk that far in the dark! It's dangerous!"

"I'm not a twelve year old girl, Hinata."

"Yeah, you're a pissy pouty teenager."

Kageyama did that weird thing with his lip and Hinata laughed. "See! That."

"Shut up."

The door slid open, and they looked over to see Natsu standing there, looking rather indignant.

"Niichan! It's my bed time! You have to be quieter!"

"Sorry, Natsu."

"Tell your friend to stop making that freaky face! It'll give me nightmares!" She closed the door. Hinata looked at Kageyama and started laughing again.

"I swear to god, I'll kill you in your sleep."

~~~

As tired as he was, he was awake. Despite a lack of sleep, despite extreme exhaustion, despite the aching of his muscles, Kageyama was awake. He stared at the ceiling, one arm tucked behind his head. His head was spinning.

It was _too_ warm. Hinata was _too_ close to him. He could feel heat radiating off of him. And this fragrance of laundry soap and shampoo and ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ _Hinata_ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~. It made his eyes hurt. It made his mouth dry.

He looked at the ceiling and for a second he was seeing stars. God, he was exhausted. All he wanted was to go to sleep. He couldn't even feel his legs. He wasn't one-hundred percent sure he was breathing. All he could feel was exhaustion and warmth and _Hinata_ and it wouldn't stop and he couldn't do anything about it because he couldn't move. The ceiling turned from a grey in the darkness to red and faded to orange and-

"Kageyama?"

He took in a deep breath. He was breathing. "What?"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Do you need water or something?"

"No thank you."

Hinata laid back down, shifting a little. It was clear that Kageyama didn't know his breathing was funny or that he was making that weird face. Hinata bit his tongue and frowned and his eyebrows knit together as he tried to go back to sleep.

Kageyama laid beside him and stared at the ceiling. He was so angry, now. Angry at this weird crush.

It had made him incapable of sleeping next to Hinata.


	3. whiny baby lyrics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to keep this fic from being shit i think chapters will come every two days to allow time for writing excess planning and proofreading

If you've ever had a crush on someone, you will know that it is total bullshit. There is nothing even remotely good about it. People always say that the butterflies are so cute and that getting nervous is adorable and means "you're growing up" and they say things like "when's the wedding" and "how many children will you have" and they keep talking and talking until you feel like setting them on fire.

Kageyama's thing was, he didn't get butterflies. He wasn't nervous. His whole body caught fire like the life of the sun and a rage burned deep within and when he looked at Hinata all he wanted to do was hit him because he was fucking up his perfectly planned life and causing him to waste a _lot_ of time.

He tried to keep it from showing in front of the team. At least, the fact that he was mad exclusively at Hinata. He was rather good at it, in his opinion. He was able to control it to a muffled frustration. Even so, he was off during practice. That just made him more angry. Concentrating on not appearing upset had taken up all of his concentration that was previously used for volleyball. He fucking loved volleyball. This was a disgrace.

"Nice serve!"

He let out a breath, leaning his hands on his knees. At least he was subconsciously good enough at volleyball to make it by. He watched the ball move around the other side of the court. Tsukishima used Hinata as a weak spot, and the ball hit the court.

He let out another breath, straightening up. Daichi called for the end of practice, and Kageyama started gathering balls absently. Sugawara watched him as he and Azumane rolled up the net.

"He's off, isn't he? Kageyama."

Azumane looked over at him. "I don't know. He seems fine to me."

Suga hummed. That was exactly it. Kageyama was just staring at whatever was put in front of him. He hadn't yelled out any sort of commands, any sort of criticisms, all day. He was just playing. And there were other things. Every serve had been the same, every toss was to one of three places. Kageyama didn't seem "fine." He seemed "default." On autopilot.

"Kageyama!"

The other boy looked up slowly to have his face greeted by a volleyball. He fell, groaning and clutching his nose.

"Suga!"

"What the hell!"

"Sorry." Suga waved a dismissive hand. "Kageyama usually catches stuff, so."

"Kageyama, are you alright?"

Kageyama jumped and wiggled away from Hinata's touch. He stumbled to his feet.

"I'm fine, so don't...touch me..."

Hinata made a noise of protest, struggling against Tanaka who tried to keep him from digging his own grave. Daichi peered at Kageyama.

"Your nose is bleeding."

Kageyama just wiped the blood off his upper lip. "I'm fine."

"Just go get changed and go home, alright?"

Kageyama was making one of his weird faces, but he nodded, heading to the locker room. Sugawara watched him go.

"Why did you throw a ball at someone who wasn't looking?"

"Sorry. I thought his reflexes were faster."

~~~

Kageyama dressed shakily, constantly wiping blood off his face. He couldn't stop making that weird face. He was so pent up. Ew. His whole body felt gross and contaminated with frustration and stress. He wanted to go home and forget he existed and sit in the bath for an hour.

"Kageyama?"

He leapt, turning around and pressing his back against his locker. He let out a breath. "What?"

Hinata was looking at him weird. "You're getting blood on your uniform."

Kageyama dabbed at his face with a bloody t-shirt. Hinata made a face. 

"The captain told me to come check on you."

"I'm fine, I'm fine." He turned around, putting his belongings in is bag. Go away. Go away go away goooooooooooo

"Are you sure you're alright? You're bleeding everywhere again."

He was quick to clean it up. Hinata frowned.

"You're bleeding a lot. Maybe you'll die."

"Shut up!"

"Hey, wait for a little bit and I'll walk to your house with you to make sure you don't die on the side of the road."

"I don't need you escorting me around."

Hinata made a whiny noise. He stopped following Kageyama once they were already halfway across the school. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

Kageyama didn't look back. Fuck that guy. Literally why why couldn't he get anything done. Why did he have to waste time with Hinata. Hinata was a moron and a fuck-up and also annoying. Hinata wasn't the sort of person Kageyama should be paying attention to. Kageyama liked people who were steady and reliable. He liked them to be smooth and well-rounded.

Kageyama realized he was thinking about volleyballs.

~~~

Hinata listened as he was sent to voicemail for like the fifth time. Why wasn't he picking up. They _always_ played around this time on Wednesdays. Well, Hinata always called and demanded that Kageyama get online. Whyyyyyyyyy wasn't he picking uuuuuuuuuuuuup?

He listened through the voicemail system and waited for the beep. "Kageyama, where are you? I've called you like a hundred times. We're supposed to play tonight. We allllways play tonight. What're you doing? Not laundry, are you? That'd be stupid. It's like ten o'clock at night, or something. Hey, did you finish the science homework? You should let me look at it tomorrow after morning practice. Hahhh, my mom made this great fish for dinner. You wouldn't like it. It was tuna."

He was quiet for a bit. "Hey, pick up. There's no one for me to play with, this is no fun. I don't know any of these guys. Maaaaan, this is boring." He flopped onto his side, playing quietly for a few seconds. "It's so pointless to play without you. Pick up. I-"

There was a beep and the voicemail thanked him for calling. He frowned, dialing again.

"She cut me off. What was I even saying? Ah, shit, I got killed." He sighed. "I stopped looking to call you back. That's why you should be playing! You'd protect me. Or..." He went red, coughing. "You'd fucking make sure I didn't fucking die. Y'know." He swallowed, then gasped. "Ooooh! Kenma came online! Yessssssssssss! Now I have someone to play with. Too bad for you. Now you're missing out." He sighed, leaning back. "Don't get too jealous. Look, we're even playing the mission you and I generally play. Of course, it won't be the same withou-"

He groaned and dialed again. "Hey! If you just picked up, I could talk to you directly! Kageyamaaaa..."

~~~

Kageyama walked into his room to see his phone still buzzing. Hinata was calling again. He put his homework on top of his phone and went to sit down with the science worksheet.

He waited, but his phone didn't make any more noise. For like half an hour. He finally stood up, brushing the papers off of it.

He had like sixty missed calls from Hinata. Jesus, the guy was persistent. He sifted through his notifications and stopped. He had like twenty voicemails.

He sighed, sitting down. He clicked to listen to the first voicemail, waiting.

"Kageyama, where are you? I've called you like a hundred times..."

He stared at his wall and listened to Hinata's voice as he rambled on. He didn't even know what he was talking about. He was just talking. But he felt it, every time he said his name. He felt his ear twinge. He felt his mouth move. Oh, wait, that was called smiling.

He put his head on his desk as the message ended and he waited for the next one to start. He could let this happen. He could let this slide.

He could listen to Hinata and let his heart beat, even if it took all night to get it out of his system.

~~~

Being on the phone with Kenma was not the same. Kenma didn't talk. Kenma didn't even really respond. He just played quietly.

He really wished Kageyama would get online.

He died again and sighed. "Kenma, I'm going to bed."

"Okay. Goodnight, Shouyou."

Hinata mumbled something and hung up. He turned everything off and got ready for bed.

He laid down. He was still for a few minutes. Then he rolled over to the other side, laying face-down.

He supposed there were up sides to never changing his sheets like ever never ever. Like smells sticking around forever. And under the smell of thirty other disgusting things, there was something familiar. Something sort of like Kageyama.

~~~

Kageyama had come to the decision that he couldn't keep himself on autopilot during practice. It wasn't worth it, and it wasn't realistic. So he started letting up.

To the rest of the team, it did not feel like letting up. It felt like crashing down. And hard.

At first it was light. He called out a criticism to Hinata, once. At first they were excited that he wasn't acting weird anymore. It quickly went downhill.

In fact, Hinata wondered if maybe he hadn't preferred quiet, robotic Kageyama. Because this Kageyama made him want to skip practice. Nothing he did was good enough. Every jump was too short or too slow. He didn't even like the way Hinata mopped the floor.

"I can't believe you!"

Everyone stopped at the sound of the mop handle clacking against the floor of the gym. Hinata and Kageyama were in each other's faces, glaring.

"Can I do _anything_ right in your eyes?"

"Can you do anything right at all?"

"What is wrong with you lately?"

"It's not me, it's you!"

"Hey!" Daichi stepped forward. "Stop it, if you're going to fight go out-"

"Fine!"

"Wait!" The door slammed closed, and they all stopped, looking at each other.

"Everything anyone does isn't good enough for you!"

"That's not true!"

"What is _wrong_ with you? You weren't like this earlier in the year!"

"Maybe _you_ weren't so shitty earlier in the year! Maybe _I_ didn't notice how shitty you truly were!"

"That's not true and it's awful to say!"

"I don't think you understand!" He grabbed Hinata's arm, yanking him forward. He leaned down and hissed something in his ear. Hinata stood quietly and Kageyama brushed by, heading towards the club room. 

"Hinata?"

Suga wormed his way from where they'd all been hiding in the crack of the door to eavesdrop. He walked over, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Hinata stared at the ground vacantly, Kageyama's words still sizzling in his ear.

_"I can't stand to be around you."_


	4. of being an asshole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i actually need something from you guys for another fanfiction i'm thinking about so i need you all to tell me your haikyuu!! ot3's please and thank you

Hinata was laying on his bed with a pillow over his face. He hadn't just put it there, though, he was pulling it into his face, nearly smothering himself. He didn't want to think.

If you've ever had a crush, you know that it is total complete utter bullshit. Everyone thinks you're cute and they try to "help you out." But Hinata didn't have anyone telling him he was cute. He didn't have anyone telling him to go for it or telling him the butterflies were normal. In fact, all Hinata had was someone telling him he sucked. All he had was someone saying that Kageyama didn't want to talk to him or look at him. All he had was Kageyama himself looking at him with eyes full of disdain and yelling at him with the sort of force that left no room for doubt. The butterflies made him sick to his stomach. There was nothing good about this. He wanted to die.

His phone made a muffled buzzing noise against his bed and he picked it up, worming it under the pillow to his ear. "Hello," he said softly.

"Hey. You should get online."

He bit his lip, mostly to keep it from doing that gross trembling thing. "I can't right now, Kenma."

"Why not? Are you busy?"

Hinata didn't respond. He was taking a moment to breathe because it suddenly got really hard.

"Hinata? Are you okay?"

He swallowed hard. If there was a single person in the whole damn world who had the merit to be informed about this, it was Kenma. Not for any particular reason. Just because he was Kenma.

"Hinaaaataaaaaa."

~~~

Kageyama had laid his head on his desk and covered it with his arms. He couldn't believe that he hadn't been able to stop yelling at him. Each word just gurgled up and blasted out his mouth. And that last bit...

It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't really completely really true. Because he knew how it sounded, and that wasn't right. He tried to pull out his hair. Jesus, what was wrong with him.

"Kageyama!"

He called something dully in response, not intending to move just yet. He closed his eyes.

Throughout the entirety of this crush on Hinata, Kageyama had never felt like crying. Yes, he wanted to beat him around the head. Yes, he had gotten frustrated and upset and he felt like he was going to pop out of existence due to an excess of not wanting to be alive. But in the end he had never felt like it was necessary, like he was in deep enough, to cry about it.

Kageyama was wrong about a lot of things. But he was especially wrong about that. And he was beginning to realize that he was in far deeper than he ever intended to be.

~~~

Everyone at practice had been very on edge. They watched Kageyama and Hinata, ready to step in and break up any fights. However, Kageyama and Hinata had found a way to play normally. They ignored each other.

It was obvious that they weren't able to completely block out the presence of the other. They had these expressions on their faces and when they stood by themselves they shook lightly. But they played in sync while not paying attention to each other, which was almost amazing. Hinata would just jump and Kageyama would just toss and somehow explosive connection took place. It was frightening to think that they became more capable the less they tried.

However, Yachi became worried. As practice wore on they got more pissed and they finally fell out of sync. Every missed toss looked like a fight ready to break out. The tosses became reckless and Hinata got tangled in the net once. Sugawara dragged Hinata to the side for one-on-one practice, and Yachi went over to them.

"Hinata?"

He turned to her. "Yachi-san, what is it?"

"Um. I was just wondering if. Things between you and Kageyama are alright?"

He blinked and looked dully at the wall over her shoulder. "It's as fine as it's going to get."

Suga looked at him. Yachi looked very nervous. "Don't you think you can work it out any better?"

Hinata didn't feel like explaining this to her would work. "I'll try," he said, his voice flat.

She took the hint and excused herself quickly. Suga watched her go and then looked at Hinata.

"You and Kageyama can't keep it up like this. It's bad for the team."

"Well I don't know what you expect me to do about it." He watched his hands while he twirled a ball. "Kageyama's the one getting his dick in a knot about it."

Suga looked at Kageyama across the gym. "About what?"

"If I knew, it wouldn't be as big of a problem."

Suga hummed. "Give me the ball and I'll toss for you."

~~~

Kageyama was angry at himself. He had dropped into autopilot while cleaning the gym and had gotten six volleyballs thrown at him. He hurt everywhere. He dressed slowly in the quiet aftermath. He could still hear them out there on their ways home.

"Kageyama."

He leapt and turned around and scrambled to get his stuff from his locker. "What?!"

Hinata walked close to him, causing him to move more frantically. God, his heart was beating so fast. "Why are you acting like this? What exactly did I do to make it so you hate me?"

"Please go away!"

"It doesn't make any sense!"

Kageyama grabbed Hianta's head, using it to keep him at arm's length as he moved towards the door. "Leave me alone, please!"

"Ow! Let go!" Hinata wiggled away and grabbed Kageyama's arm, forcing him to stay put for two seconds. "What is wrong with you? What did I do?"

Hinata's tone and the look he was starting to get on his face and the fact that he was to _uchinG KAGEYAMA_ was making it difficult for Kageyama to think or breathe. He tried to yank his arm away, backing up against some lockers.

"Hinata-"

"I want to know so I can fix it, I want us to be friends."

Kageyama couldn't breathe. He kept trying to free himself from Hinata's grasp, but Hinata tugged on him and dragged him close.

"Stop running away from me."

"D-Don't..." Kageyama finally ripped his arm from Hinata's grasp. "Don't touch me, don't, _don't_ touch me." _You're setting me on fire I can't even see straight everything stings go go go GO away._

Hinata was looking at him weird. Really weird. Kageyama watched him, haphazardly gathering his things. He stumbled out of the club room and started running.

~~~

"Do you think they're going to be okay?"

"Who?"

"Hinata and Kageyama. They're being so weird."

Daichi hummed, looking at the sky as he walked. "I don't know. They're both stubborn, I don't think they'll back down easily."

"Ah!"

They looked to the right to see Kageyama stumbling and running. He passed them with hardly a glance, skidding around a corner.

"Then again, they seem to be close to a breaking point."


	5. *bridge w/key change*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im just cutting right to the chase for this chapter like fuck

Hinata woke up a few days later and he made a decision.

This was going to be a good day. If he had to kill someone, he was going to enjoy today.

~~~

It was raining. 

He could make it work.

~~~

Once Hinata reached the school for morning practice (drenched to the bone), he felt better. The club room was warm and Sugawara smiled at him and Tanaka got slapped by the manager and it was pretty funny. He was able to laugh.

He went out to warm up for practice and looked over as Kageyama entered the gym. The lights went out. Kageyama stared straight ahead with this look on his face like "God has cursed me to bear the presence of the devil" and then Takeda confirmed that the lights were out through the school and the surrounding area due to downed power lines.

Okay, Hinata thought. But it's not the worst thing ever.

~~~

They were out of the ramen he wanted at lunch and THAT, THAT THERE, was the end of the world. He stared into his little cup of beef ramen, his lip doing a weird thing.

"It's not the end of the world, Hinata."

"It is. Today is not turning out how I want."

"Then stop wanting it to turn out a certain way. If you have no expectations, nothing can disappoint you!"

Hinata whined. Maybe Tanaka could live like that, but he wanted things out of life. Like to win the Inter-high Nationals and become good at volleyball or something.

"How do you know how your day is turning out, anyways? It's hardly half over."

"I wanted it to be better by now."

"So work harder to make it better?"

"It doesn't work like that," Hinata sighed, starting to eat his ramen. "I can't enjoy my day if I have to work."

Tanaka threw up his hands helplessly, turning back to his own lunch.

~~~

Hinata put his things away in his bag slowly. He looked over at Kageyama.

"Kageyama."

_"What."_

"I'm trying to have a good day. I'm trying to start to feel normal. So. Do you want to hang out?"

"No way."

"Come on!"

"I thought I told you to stop trying, I thought I told you it's a lost cause."

"Kageyama! We used to be friends and then a couple weeks ago you just _decided_ that friendship was baby bullshit!"

"Leave me alone, Hinata." He was shaking. Hinata puffed up.

"No! Why are you avoiding me?"

"Stop cornering me!"

"You act like I'm attacking you!"

"You are!"

"I have a right to know why you think I'm gross all of the sudden!"

"You're really asking for it!" But Kageyama stepped away, towards the lockers. He was holding back. God that pissed Hinata off.

"Then fucking _do_ something!"

"Hinata, sto-"

"All you've been doing for two weeks is running away from your problem!"

"Please, please stop." Kageyama was pleading now, looking around the club room for an escape.

"Look at me!" He grabbed Kageyama's arm, but he shook him off immediately, grabbing Hinata's face.

It hurt, Hinata noted. From the force behind it to the fact that he was using his teeth and he was pushing too hard and it _hurt_ because Kageyama was not doing it right, he simply couldn't be. But Kageyama, he took time to note, was an excessively angry boy. Kageyama, in that moment, was someone so full of frustration that he literally couldn't keep it in any longer. He was so pent up that he released it in his breath and his actions and every time he touched Hinata it rose between them like a mist and the club room was so quiet that all you could hear was the sound of Kageyama's breath as he first pulled Hinata close so they touched _everywhere_ and then he slammed him against a locker and Hinata could feel the metal as cold as ice against his searing skin. His ears were red as they picked up on every sound Kageyama made and his cheeks burned brighter every time Kageyama touched them and his eyes were stinging as he slid them closed. And he didn't know what to do with his hands because Kageyama wouldn't stop moving, wouldn't stop touching him and tugging on him. Before two minutes had passed Hinata couldn't breathe and Kageyama wouldn't give him the chance and so he planted his hands on his chest and shoved him away as hard as he could.

Kageyama moved back a few inches, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He heaved for breath, glaring at the wall for a second before looking at Hinata.

Hinata was crying. He was staring at the floor and his breaths stuttered through his whole body and he wiped his mouth to find that he was bleeding somewhere in that area. He closed his eyes and wiped at his cheeks and he slowly slid down the locker to the floor. He put his hand back to his mouth, trying to do something about the bleeding.

Kageyama just looked up and braced an arm over Hinata against a locker. He stared ahead as he struggled for breath and all he could hear was Hinata's breathing getting louder and shakier but refusing to become what you could call a "sob". Kageyama swallowed hard and his vision blurred and he pushed against the locker as he tried to think.

"I'm sorry."

Hinata cried harder. He kept his face towards the floor and he kept his mouth covered. Kageyama took a few breaths through his nose and grabbed his stuff and left the club room as fast as he could.

Hinata spent some time there on the floor, trying to catch his breath.

"Shit."


	6. *intense guitar solo*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *thinking about uke dads* wow what the actual fuck

Hinata went to school the next day with his head held high. He entered the club room, going to his lockers and putting his bag in.

The whole club room looked at him. He tried to keep a bruise on his shoulder from showing while he changed quickly. He could feel them looking. It was only a matter of time.

"Hinata?"

He looked over at Sugwara. "Hm, Senpai?"

Sugwara smiled and laughed, seeming nervous or concerned. "Um...did you get in a fight yesterday?"

Hinata looked into his locker. Swollen lip, dark circles under his eyes. He looked back over.

"Yes!"

Everyone drew in a breath. "With who?"

"It was this _huuuuuuuuuge_ yakuza! Twice as big as me! He tried to corner me on the street, but I gave him a WHAP!! and a POW!!"

"Whoooooa!" Tanaka stepped forward. "There's no way!"

"How else do you explain the fantastic bleeding I had going on yesterday? Man, when I was through with that guy, he ran away apologizing!"

He stopped. And turned to look at Kageyama.

Kageyama had most of his body shoved inside his locker while he rifled through his bag. Hinata watched him for a moment before turning back to everyone else.

"Look at where my lip was bleeding!" Tanaka and Nishinoya rushed forward, exclaiming all sorts of things as Hinata turned his mouth inside out. Kageyama closed his locker and left. Hinata watched him, still holding his mouth open.

He thought about Kageyama. That was probably why he'd been avoiding him. Because he didn't want to do something gay without realizing it. But it was still a pretty shitty thing to do. He just made Hinata feel like shit. He could've played out a shoujou manga and asked everyone who Hinata liked instead of being a huge asshole about it. He narrowed his eyes. Now he didn't even know what to say to him.

"Hinata."

Daichi slapped him on the back and he jumped. "Oh." He pulled his hands out of his mouth, closing it. "Right."

"Let's go to practice."

"Yes, sir."

~~~

Kageyama hid in the bathroom during lunch. He didn't have any friends other than Hinata and now he couldn't even sit near him during lunch. He could hardly concentrate in class. He wondered why he'd even gone to practice that morning.

Hinata hated him and he knew it and he leaned his head against his knees to try not to hyperventilate. There was no excuse. He should have been able to get out of there before that happened. And he hadn't just kissed him he had _fucking attacked_ him. That was so messed up why the fuck did he do that.

The bell rang and he unfolded himself, standing and exiting the stall. Could he really fucking go out there? Hinata was pretending like nothing happened in front of everyone else. Surely he could do that same.

But when Hinata looked at him he got very, very afraid.

He ventured out of the bathroom and walked back towards the classroom. Hinata rounded the corner at the end of the hall with some other first years.

Kageyama watched him try to explain away his beaten appearance. Apparently, it had gotten boring to be enthusiastic about it after four of five times. He slid quickly into the classroom, plopping into his seat.

Hinata sat down in his own seat, and Kageyama watched the back of his head. He kept looking at him as the lesson started and kept watching him as the lesson continued.

Hinata eventually shifted and turned his head a little to look at him. Kageyama blinked and then rolled his head over to look out the window.

Fuck.

~~~

Kageyama got hit with thirty balls throughout the course of practice. His eyes were perpetually stinging and his head ached like all hell. He sighed, putting his things away in his bag. Everyone trailed out of the club room before him and he sighed, zipping up his bag and closing his locker.

He turned around to see Hinata leaning against the doorframe. He blinked and looked at the ceiling. Hinata kept looking at him, the sun setting behind his bright orange head of hair.

"Come hang out with me today."

Kageyama nodded silently. This was his fate. He had accepted it. Hinata turned around, and Kageyama followed him out.

Hinata got his bike from the racks as Kageyama waited. They walked beside each other to Hinata's house with the bike between them. It was dark by the time they got there. Hinata locked up his bike and led Kageyama inside.

"Mom?"

"Are you finally home? What took you so long?"

"I walked." Hinata shrugged, and his mother watched him and Kageyama walk past.

Hinata closed the door to his room. Kageyama stared at his back. This was it. He was going to die.

"Kageyama."

He just looked at him. He appeared to be chewing on his lip. Hinata spun around and Kageyama flinched, ducking down as he shot a hand out.

There was no punch. There was, in fact, a moment of silence and stillness before he felt Hinata's tiny-ass fingers in his hair.

He flinched again before opening his eyes to look at Hinata.

"What the fuck is wrong with you."

He laughed a little bit, dropping his hand from Kageyama's hair and putting it over his mouth. "Shit, it opened up again..."

Kageyama watched him. He was in so much pain. Hinata looked over, bleeding and crying in front of Kageyama for the second day in a row.

"Did you have to fucking jump me?"

Kageyama didn't answer. Hinata kept talking. "Ahh, and you couldn't have taken ten seconds to breathe...or four fucking minutes to talk to me..."

He rubbed at his eyes, turning around to sit on his bed. Kageyama was still in that weird ducking position.

"I didn't think that just kissing was supposed to hurt." He tried to laugh but it came out fucked up and disgusting and painful. "But it did, and a lot more than I thought it would...fuck, I don't even know what I'm saying..."

He took a breath.

"Hit me."

He looked over at him. Kageyama was still bent weird, and appeared to be unaware of it. 

"Hit me, please." His teeth were clenched. "If you don't, I'll end up throwing myself off a cliff. Yell at me, Christ."

"That's what makes us different, Kageyama. I've no intention of hurting you." He stood up. "And I think you didn't either."

Kageyama let out a breath (though certainly not in a relieved way), taking a few steps back to lean against Hinata's desk.

"There are certainly times when I want to kiss you until it hurts, Kageyama." He was able to let out a weak chuckle. "But not the way you did it."

Kageyama stared across the room. Hinata moved close to him and he flinched, closing his eyes. Hinata touched his jaw with his fingers and he flinched again. He tried to move away from him but Hinata held him steadfast and tilted his head down and stood up on his toes to kiss him.

It tasted like blood and regret, to Kageyama. Because Hinata was still bleeding and Kageyama wished he'd done everything differently. This should've been their first kiss, not slamming around the club room hard enough to hurt someone. They should not have had to have this conversation. He thought back to that night after that practice game in this very room and thought maybe they should've had this first kiss a long time ago. He thought that he should've turned over. He thought he should've touched him.

He moved one shaking hand from the edge of the desk to Hinata's side. There were a hundred million better ways to have done this. It was awful and rocky and painful. But the ending was

really good.

Hinata pulled away from him, panting lightly for breath. He let his hands drift to Kageyama's chest, where he used them to push off and away.

"That's how I wanted to kiss you for the first time." He punched his shoulder.

Kageyama looked at the floor, wiping Hinata's blood off of his mouth. "Yeah."

"I'm not going to hit you or yell at you. Stop being so down."

Kageyama looked at him and nodded. "Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not the last chapter of this fic just fyi


	7. *fade out rl slow*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what if every time hinata called for a toss he just yelled "BRUH"

"Stay the night."

Kageyama looked up, still wary. Hinata was dabbing at his lip, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I have homework that I left at home."

"So go home tomorrow and do it then."

Kageyama felt like smiling for the first time in a while. Hinata pressed a finger to the injury in his lip to stop the bleeding, looking up at Kageyama.

"I don't have any clothes to wear tomorrow."

"Wear those ones."

"They're dirty."

"Change when you get home."

Hinata grinned at him. Kageyama just looked back.

"I don't have pajamas."

"Sleep naked."

They both looked at the floor, Kageyama chewing on his lip. Hinata glanced up.

"Just stay, you asshole."

Kageyama nodded. "Yeah."

~~~

Hinata was not shy. Now that he considered things to be cleared up, he also considered Kageyama's body to be free reign.

The controller shook in Kageyama's hands as the screen flashed and Hinata talked on and on. Why was he sitting in his lap. How did he get there. Why had he allowed him to get there. He was very close for the first time in a while, and also his butt was like half an inch from his crotch.

"Kageyama, pay attention."

"Sorry." Kageyama tried to focus on keeping Hinata from getting killed. Hinata hummed, leaning back against him.

 _Fkugc jehus what tf WHY wth_ his hair smelled good. Kageyama was sure that he was so bright red. He was finding it difficult to breathe. Hinata kept talking.

Were they dating now? He didn't think that was how it was supposed to work. You were supposed to specifically ask people, right? Like "Hey, you make my dick hard, let's get dinner." He hadn't said anything like that to Hinata and Hinata had said nothing like that to him. But it felt like Hinata was acting like they were supposed to be dating?? It was all very confusing.

"Kageyama?"

"Hm?"

"You let me die."

"Oh." Kageyama blinked. "Sorry."

They were quiet. Hinata shifted out of his lap and turned around to scold him.

"Snap out of it."

"Of what?"

"This stupid loser depression." He snapped his fingers around Kageyama's face, making him flinch and blink. "I almost liked it more when you were mad and yelling at me. At least then you talked to me."

"Sorry."

Kageyama looked blankly at the floor. Hinata ruffled his hair. "Stop apologizing for shit." He climbed back into his lap, snatching up his phone.

"What're you doing?"

"Taking a picture!"

Kageyama immediately became expressive. He made a disgusted face, accompanied by a disgusted noise. Hinata smiled.

"Just one to commemorate us dating."

"We're dating?"

"Yeah. We kissed and there were emotions. So lighten up, for god's sake!"

"I thought we had to confess or someshit and then go on a stupid fucking _date_ in order to be _dating_."

"We did. You attacked me with your feelings and now we're hanging out."

Kageyama didn't think that should count. Hinata held his phone up. "Say, 'I'm emotionally stunted!'"

"I'm emotionally stunted."

The phone made a clicky noise and Hinata wiggled, turning it around to look at it.

"You look just like yourself."

"Which is why I don't like taking pictures."

Hinata laughed a little, pressing the right button to send the picture. Kageyama watched.

"Why're you sending that to Kenma?"

"Because I thought I'd let him know we're dating."

"Why does he need to know that?"

"Because when you were being a dick to me still, I told him everything."

Kageyama made a very gross face. "Ugh, ghgh, hhhk." What was everything and why was Hinata sharing his feelins and shit with Kenma.

"Shut up." Hinata elbowed him lightly. He closed his phone and picked up his controller. "Let's play another game."

"Okay." Kageyama was sure he was going to let Hinata die again. He was sure he was going to fuck up. He was certain he would let himself get weird and he would stop talking to Hinata and they would break up and it would hurt. He was sure of it. He didn't want to give that the chance to happen. The controller shook.

"Kageyama?"

"Hm?"

"Stop for a second."

Hinata flopped out of his lap again, turning to look at him. "Talk to me."

"Uh."

"What're you so worried about?"

Kageyama made a very weird face, his hands still shaking. He curled them into fists.

"Kageyama." Hinata put his hands over Kageyama's. "If you open your mouth and talk, we won't have problems."

"I think we will."

Hinata sighed. He scooted away from Kageyama. "We don't have to date. I thought this was what you wanted."

Hinata didn't understand. This _was_ what he wanted. But Kageyama knew he was no good for people because he was, as Hinata so eloquently put it, emotionally stunted. Socially stunted, maybe. Inter-personally stunted. He _wanted_ to talk he just didn't know how. He didn't know what to say, and he was afraid that if he said it Hinata would realize he was right. He wanted that to happen, but he also didn't want to be alone anymore.

"What're you worried about?"

"A lot of stuff."

Hinata watched him. "You know volleyball?"

"Um, yes?"

"You know how I close my eyes and you throw the ball and we go with it?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know which words to use, but that could be like this."

Kageyama leaned his head back against the side of the bed.

"Yeah."

Hinata stood up. "You can go home if you want. You don't have to stay here and we don't have to do this. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Mmmm, this was not what he wanted. He tried to breathe and he caught Hinata's wrist. "I...don't want to leave."

Hinata looked at him. "I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to be alone." He took a breath. "Y'know?"

"You're not."

"But I'm so bad at stuff. Y'know? And getting all in it with someone only to fuck it up would be so bad. That would be so messed up. Right? That would be fucked up. That would be..."

He trailed off and stared at the wall. Hinata shifted. 

"But you don't have to think about it like that. We might never break up. That's not a promise. It's a possibility. The thing is deciding if the fear or the want to be with me is more important."

Kageyama's fingers loosened around Hinata's wrist. Hinata watched him. He looked into his lap.

"I don't know. I don't ever want you to hate me."

"Then don't do stuff I hate."

"I don't know what stuff that is."

"You don't have to be a genius to figure it out." Hinata laughed, kneeling by him. "Thou shalt not murder, thou shalt not covet, thou shalt not have other gods before me."

"That's the Bible."

"It's all the same. Just like me back and I'll be happy."

Kageyama tried to breathe but then he realized it wasn't working and so he reached out and pulled their faces against each other. Hinata made a noise shoving him away.

"You're not good at that at all."

"Hfffffffffffffffffff..."

"Shhh." Hinata ran his hands all through Kageyama's hair, watching him. "Calm down."

Kageyama's hair looked stupid and Kageyama looked stupid he knew it. He stared vacantly ahead, trying to disappear.

"Kaaageyama." He looked at Hinata, who let hands run down over his face. He poked him in the eye. "Take a fucking breath, and..." He slapped him lightly. "Presto! Relax."

Then he grabbed Kageyama and started kissing him properly.

~~~

"Heeeeey."

Kageyama was quiet.

"Kageyaaamaaaaa."

"What?"

Hinata poked his cheek. "You're not asleep, are you?"

"No."

In fact, Kageyama had to wonder if he would ever sleep. He was wide awake. Also breathing was difficult. He wondered if this was what it was like to have a heart attack. Hinata shifted close to his side.

"Kaaa-geee-yaaa-maaaaa."

"What is it?"

"Are you going to be able to sleep?"

"Yes."

"You've been making a weird face and your answers are short."

"Sorry."

Hinata hummed, tapping his fingers on his chest. Kageyama stopped breathing entirely. Please cease the doing of that.

Hinata eventually fell asleep. Kageyama continued to stare at the ceiling.

He looked at Hinata after a long time. Hinata had orange eyelashes. He turned onto his side. I mean, duh, his hair was orange, but for some reason he didn't expect that. Do people normally have orange eyelashes?

He shifted, and looked at Hinata's hand. Hinata had a very small hand. Not like REALLY small just like y'know sort of. Smaller than Kageyama's. Well, yeah, that made sense, he was smaller than Kageyama. He took his hand in his own and looked at it.

He had very cute fingers. They weren't like girl's fingers or anything. They were just cute. They were smaller than Kageyama's. Duh. He looked at them, sliding his own fingers between them. They were smooth and soft. He had nice fingernails. They weren't gross or anything. He brought his hand up to his face, closing his eyes. God. God he was nice. Just nice. Nice.

His skin was very soft. He wanted clothing that felt like Hinata's skin. Or a blanket or something. He was all smooth.

"Kageyama."

He glanced up. Oh. Hinata woke up. He shifted, and Kageyama's fingers slid down the inner side of his arm. Oh, that was really soft too hm. He watched Hinata wiggle close to him.

"Ya coulda said you wanted to touch me..." Hinata smiled at him. He was so ridiculously still half asleep. Kageyama's hands fell into place as Hinata drew against him.

"Touching me while I'm sleeping, what're you, a perv? Perv nerd."

"Maybe."

Hinata looked at him. "Why're you in such a good mood."

Kageyama was feeling better for some reason. It was like while Hinata was asleep he felt lonely. He didn't answer. Hinata moved close and booped his nose to Kageyama's face.

"Hey."

"What?"

Hinata kissed him. God, he was tired, wasn't he. Still half-asleep. He was basically dozing off against Kageyama's face.

"D'you like touching me?"

"Hm?"

"I like touching you."

"You should go back to sleep."

"Why're you so red?" Hinata smiled and patted his face with both hands. "Cute."

"Go to sleep."

"Gotcha." Hinata sighed, drooping. Kageyama watched him. He petted his hair.

Hinata was very soft. Kageyama held onto him. He smelled very nice. His hands on Kageyama were good. What the hell.

He felt very tired. Maybe now he could sleep.

~~~

Hinata watched Kageyama sleep. The sun was up already. Pretty high, too. Kageyama should wake up. He wondered how long he stayed awake last night. He seemed tired.

He shifted to lay on his chest. How cute. He waited for him to wake up.

Fuck this was taking forever. He started poking his face. "Kageyaaaaama."

Kageyam shifted, swatting at Hinata. "Fuck, stop..."

"Wake up."

"No way I'm sleeping."

Hinata scrambled over him and Kageyama groaned, covering his face with the blanket. Hinata flopped down.

"Open up."

"Lemme sleep."

"Don't you wanna kiss?"

"I wanna sleep."

"Kageyaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaa."

Hinata tugged on the blanket, and Kageyama reluctantly let it up. He smiled at him.

"Well good morning to you too."

"I was still sleeping."

"Just kiss me..."

Kageyama blushed and turned his head. Hinata smiled.

"Oooh, are you still nervous about that?" Kageyama didn't answer. "Don't be. As long as you're not awful and rough it's no big deal."

"I don't know how."

Hinata laughed. "Whatever! You can figure it out. Right now."

"Hold it, I'm gross, I just woke up."

"No way."

Hinata grabbed his face and kissed him. Kageyama laid still. He could put up with this for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end bye


End file.
